here we go again...

this is only my 2nd day of 4th year and i am already exhausted.

being in a new environment, i do feel alienated.

for once, im missing the thing that i have been clinging and relying on to for the past 2.5 years.

why am i not happy? did i make a right decision?

Halloween comes too soon!

starting my 4th year exactly in less than 12 hours.

BLEARGGHHHHHHHHH.

I am so not looking forward to this!!! The nightmare begins and will continue to haunt me for the next 1 year. =(((((

Oh Lord, please give me the strength and courage to go through the day.

love is such a beautiful thing...

just done with GG Season 3, Episode 2.

I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH THE LAST SCENE OF BLAIR AND CHUCK.

and yea, i want my "blair-and-chuck" moments too! =(

gaaahhhh... so far, this couple is the ONLY one that could make me feel the love that these characters have for each other. i know, it is only a tv-show but...


WHO CARES!!

syawal 2009

it's the 2nd day of raya. so, Happy Eid Mubarak everyone.

On the other hand, I NEED TO FINISH MY REPORT!!!!!! =(

quote of the day

what's the point of being the smartest?

ive found out that most of my UBD-ians are now in Europe, resuming their clinical years. Some got places in Notts, Sot and St Georges. It is definitely a pain in the ass to be seeing them posting the pictures, showing happy faces on how exciting it is to be far far away in the English countryside.

Of course, it used to be one of my dreams to be studying in St George's. I did apply to it and the other unis in UK for medicine but unfortunately, i only got a place to do Pharmacy in School of Pharmacy, London. I managed to get an interview from Southampton and honestly, it was the most horrible interview i had ever done. I wasnt prepared for it and i did not show enough passion for the career. i truly regret of this trial. Despite the failures, i however was given another chance in Medicine to go for another interview in East Anglia uni. Unfortunately, my dad made me to let it go since i had already got this offer in CUCMS.

Other than that, most of my friends also managed to get places in UK to do courses that they enjoy. To date, none of my JIS classmates are studying in Malaysia except for Jon who is also now in Manchester, enjoying his clinical years after spending 3 years here in IMU. So now, i am basically, friendless, except for the fact that i still have Ashwin. Some other friends of mine, are studying in Aussies and only few in the States.

The sad fact is that, i used to perform way better than these people and yet, I am the one who is left in Malaysia, with this sad uni of mine. They say that it does not really matter where you study but it relies solely on your attitude. I agree to that fact but hey, this is going to be my Uni's life. I will be the one who will reminisce about it in the next 20 years. Surely, i want it to be the most exciting part of my life. People say that uni's life will be the best part of it but to date, i do not think so! Unfortunately, im stuck in here, surrounded with people i can barely trust and who take me as a different creature just because i am not like them.

maybe this is the reason why i am not happy in the first place.

Miss Monk

i am not sure whether i have OCD or is it just cause some people are simply disgusting? i do not think that being busy is the right excuse for this matter since i noe these people have all the time in their world to facebook-ing, piling up their fat and playing those nonsense online games. sometimes, it totally irritates me to see these people trying all they can to look good when they go for outing but take a look in their living place and im sure, it's not as pretty as they look.

sometimes i feel like im a maid in my own lil home. i have to clean the stove and the kitchen wall as well as discarding off any expired food in the fridge. come on! you dont have to share your lil bacteria with my food. furthermore, i cant seem to stand having things lying around unpurposely. i like my house to be neat and tidy. home is the place where you are supposed to feel relax and comfortable. but how would u feel if u go back home and have to see those hair strands and dust all around you? another thing is that, can they clean up the utensils after cooking and arrange them back to where they are supposed to be in? do not pile everything up on the drainer. if the thing ever breaks, would u even do the repairing for me?

oh well, at least i can prove to my mom wrong bout me being a lazy daughter and living in a messy house one day. one thing for sure, i want my house to be neatly arranged and spacious. any things lying around will be dumped in a box where you can't see the messiness. to be honest, i like house-shopping. i do not mind buying accessories if it makes the house to look better.

bleargghh.. i can't wait to have my own house!

cooking lesson #5

today, i tried out 2 new recipes : Tom Yam (my fave) and Restaurant-style Chinese Greens with Oyster Sauce. The end results : an absolute bliss since they tasted fabulous. Mama would be very proud indeed! haha

Vegetables with Oyster Sauce SERVE 2
Ingredients :
Your favourite Chinese greens
1 tbsp oyster sauce
1 tbsp water
1/2 tbsp sugar pepper
1/4 tbsp cooking oil
2 cloves of garlic

1. Heat the wok and put in oil + garlic
2. in a bowl, mix oyster sauce + water + sugar + pepper
3. add the mixture in the wok
4. add in the vegetables and cook it for few minutes

TOM YAM (Hayati's style)

SERVE 2

Ingredients
cooking oil
1 tbsp curry powder
1/2 onion boiled water (the amount is as u prefer)
1/2 chicken stock cube
2 tom yum paste
chicken breast
1 tbsp tomato ketchup
vegetables of your fave
daun limau purut ( dunno wat it is called in English)

1. heat the pan and put in oil.
2. add in curry powder
3. add in the onion
4. put in water
5. put in the chicken stock cubes and tom yam paste
6. put in the chicken breast
7. add in tomato ketchup
8. finally, put in the greens and leave it to cook for 15 minutes

cooking lesson #4

few days back, i did fried mee for breaking the fast. fortunately, i had Maya who then became the master chef for this recipe. overall, it was YUMMY! this statement is also approved by my sis. hehe

FRIED MEE

mee kuning
2 eggs
chicken breast
garlic (2 cloves)
vegetables
soy sauce
salt
pepper

1. heat the wok
2. add oil + garlic
3. add in chicken
4. add in soy sauce
5. add in mee + eggs
6. salt and pepper

sorry. this time i didnt manage to snap the pictures.

through this lesson, i now know that mee kuning is pretty oily. not to be eaten too much. hehe

Life is a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you're gonna get.

I've just finished watching the movie, Forrest Gump. Since my holiday is ending real soon, i need to finish as many movies as i can.
I can't believe that i missed out watching this amazing movie back then. Well, i was to be blamed for this. During my teenage years, I was more into the comedic and idiotic films rather than lengthy and drama type of movies. However, ive realised that ive missed quite a lot of "must-see-before-you-die" movies.

So, back to the movie; Forrest Gump will make u to reflect back on the life that u have. Other than that, it provides u with historical events that had great effects on the world. Oh, the good thing is also that, u now no longer wonder about those quotes written on the wall of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Restaurants. The places will also definitely remind you of certain scenes in the movie. Im not surprised that i might even try out shrimps on my next visit there.

Well, i do not wish to spill out the movie's details here. It's a 2+ hours movie. Overall, it's a double thumbs up movie. You will gain extra general knowledge by the end of it.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Elective report and logbook

i am extremely lazy to initiate this task. i was supposed to start this 2 weeks ago but now, im only remaining with 2 weeks to finish this. DAMN to procrastination. Raya is next week and im sure, i will have no time to do this since my family will definitely wants to go out and shop around. Sometimes, i wish i am studying in UK. at least, my role there is to ONLY study and survive. oh well.

the ONLY thing that i am passionate about

my boyfriend?
Pharrell Williams?
Subaru ?

nahhh... i am known to be passionate to this love life for more than decades. even one of my tutors mentioned that i need to show my passion in medicine just as much as he saw the firing spirit in me when i scored the goals during futsal.

yeap yeap, it is nothing else but FOOTBALL / SOCCER (ver. US). I do not know how i develop this craze. but as far as i can remember, it dated back in 1998. the 1st football image that i have in mind is the final match of World Cup 1998; Brazil vs France. i remember that i was late for school due to the match. till then, i have been an avid football fan; watching Premier Leagues matches and reading the updates from the newspaper.

For things that i have done for football :

1. I don't mind sacrificing my morning beauty sleep just to watch any important match.
2. i sacrificed my revision for Biology mock exam in A Level just so that i could watch the Champion's League final; LFC vs Inter Millan. Damn, it was all worthy!
3. i used to cut out the EPL schedule and pasted it on my room wall.
4. i asked my parents to buy me World Cup fanbook.
5. my most expensive t-shirt so far has to be a football jersey.
6. to date, i have Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool jerseys. I have also bought the Netherland t-shirt and one football jersey.
7. i had been the captain for my Uni futsal team; joined several competitions and managed to be the champion for 2 futsal matches.
8. went out with my guy and bought futsal boots for ME instead of him.

Honestly, if football is a profitable job in my nation, i would gladly be a footballer instead of a doctor. HAHAHA

cooking lesson #3

today, i managed to cook another dish : sweet and sour chicken

since it is the fasting month, it is quite difficult for me to test for its taste while cooking it. fortunately, i didnt screw this recipe up though i have to admit, more can be done to improve its taste.

so, as always, let me expose u guys to the ingredient :

SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN

Serves 4

chicken breast
1/4 cups (60ml) corn starch
oil for frying
capsicum
pineapple slices
1 medium onion

sauce :
3 tbsp vinegar
4 tbsp sugar
4 tbsp ketchup
1/2 tsp sesame oil
5 tbsp water
2 tsp corn starch

1. mix corn starch and chicken
2. deep fry them for few minutes and leave them to cool

3. in another pan, heat the oil
4. add in capsicum, onion and pineapple
5. add in vinegar + sugar + ketchup + sesame oil and stir for 1 minute
6. add in the fried chicken
7. in a bowl, mix in water and corn starch.
8. put the solution in the mixture to thicken the sauce

im forever grateful to encounter such website. this is far more beneficial than spending hours on facebook.

Gratitude to my master chef : http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-sweet-and-sour-chicken

cooking lesson #2

other than bread pudding, i also made a baked potato to go with my spaghetti. it is another SIMPLE recipe. Im sure, any 10 year old kid can do it too! sorry guys, i forgot to snap some pictures of my product. keke nevertheless, i will definitely do this recipe again.

again, kudos go to this website who is currently my master chef. RESPECT!

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-baked-potatoes

BAKED POTATOES

Potatoes
Olive oil
Salt

1. Rinse potatoes with cold water
2. Dry the potatoes using kitchen roll
3. Use fork and just pierce through the potatoes at different sites (as if ur stabbing 'em)
4. Coat the potatoes with olive oil and salt
5. Put them in oven at 180 degrees celcius for 45-55 minutes

END RESULT : a jacket potato! To make it more YUMMYLICIOUS, prepare the toppings e.g cheese and mac. I didn't know how to do it so, yea, mine was quite bland

cooking lesson #1

for the 1st time, i tried to bake bread pudding. i was 1st introduced on how to do it from Radly's mom. the ingredient is minimal with simple instructions. yes, yes, my type of cooking. furthermore, since i have 1-day expired bread, so why don't i use it rather than letting it to rot.

since i couldnt get the recipe from her, i managed to find it online and thanks to our super modern technology, i found a video which eventually became my master chef. it turns out well in the end. it was not that sweet but the apples and raisins compensate it anyway. the bread was also soft. however, i wish i know how to do the sauce as well. overall, i gave it 4/5 as a 1st timer.

so, here is the recipe. credit goes to :

http://www.videojug.com/webvideo/how-to-make-apple-raisin-bread-pudding

APPLE RAISIN BREAD PUDDING

SERVES 4

2 chopped apples

2 tbsp butter

3 cups of bread cubes

4 eggs

2 cups of milk

1/3 cup of sugar

1. melt the butter

2. add in the apples and stir for 5-7 minutes

3. add in the bread + raisin + milk + egg + vanilla + sugar

4. put the mixture in an oven-cooking dish

5. bake for 45-55 minutes OR until the crust is golden brown at 180 degrees Celcius

NOTE 1 : do not bake for too long or else u will get a burnt topping (JUST LIKE MINE!!)

NOTE 2 : this is actually my 2nd go on the recipe. The 1st was an absolute failure. I accidentally put in SALT instead of SUGAR! so yea, i got sea-water pudding in the end.

BUT THIS IS MY 1ST GO ON BAKING WITH THE NEW CONVECTION OVEN!

DON'T i deserve pats on my shoulders and someone to do the cleanings for me?

my latest obesssion

i know, it's kinda late of me, at the age of 21 and only till now that im into this thing. my mom developed this habit at such an earlier age. oh well, but im glad that i am starting to enjoy this.

click here to find out what i was talking about

retarded Facebook apps!

lately, my inbox has been flooded with notifications for these applications on Facebook. What annoys me the most is that the apps are not real! they will just randomly place your name into either the stalking list or the character list amongst your friends list.

so, people will write in comments just so to entertain the page. since some of the photos were posted by individuals that i have minimal contacts with, i just cant be bothered to check each of them out. it's just that at times, i have the tendency to peek just in case my name is mentioned by some of them.

other than that, this thing is no longer fun but

DAMN PISSING ME OFF!

so true!

im just a dreamer

FYI, i am a dreamer. yeap yeap. i am not a deep sleeper and seeing vision of darkness during that beauty sleep. what annoys me is that i still have this particular person popping in and out randomly in my dream sometimes. ive managed to talked to some of my friends regarding this and they couldnt give me a valid reason for this matter. however, one of my good friends blurted that perhaps this was due to some unfinished/unresolved business between me and this individual.

upon hearing this, i tried to dig out in my memory of all the things that i still need to deal with this person. in a way, i could think of none. furthermore, my relationship with that person is also fine.

but a few days back, im starting to realise that this person has left me with something that has affected me greatly. something that made me to be whoever i end up to be now. a monster part of me that brings a major destruction and disturbance to my relationship.

if i were to have one wish, i want to tell this person 1 thing.

"i want you to know that because of your foolishness, i am no longer the person that i used to be. because of what you did, another innocent individual is paying the toll of it. i have no idea on how i can erase this part of me but you have basically ruined me. sometimes i wish i would have never known you at all"


now, i wish i can reformat my memory.

friends forever?

I graduated from high school , Jerudong International School (JIS) in 2006. JIS was one of my highlights of my life. There, i learnt the value of friendship and freedom. JIS also managed to make me a more creative person. Though i was only there for 18 months, there were tonnes of eye-opening moments of my life.

On our last days being there, we got to sing out 2 songs to mark our graduation. It was none other than Vitamin C (Graduation song) and F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme song (I'll be there for you). Those 2 songs will absolutely bring me to smiles whenever i reminisce bout my times there. Though there were some moments that i absolutely regretted of being involved in, overall, i was very much happy being there and proud to end up being the person i am as today. Sometimes, i wish i did not leave JIS when i first went there in year 10.

However, today i stumbled upon this video dat is saddening but ironically true. I hope some of my friends can really have a look at this video.

i do....... NOT!

as one grows older, one will definitely be looking for a partner, someone that you want and rather spend your whole lifetime with. since i am no longer in my teenage years, most of people that i know seem to handle this whole relationship differently. some take it quite seriously and they do not mind taking the risk of getting married at such a pretty young age.

truth to be told, i am currently single THOUGH i am not available. yes, i am currently with someone that i am comfortable with. however, the word marriage still seems to be quite far away from our world. furthermore, none of my ex-classmates in Brunei have initiated the path though some of them have been with each other for the past half decade. *Naz and Wani, Rash8 and Zurah, Amer and Neena. YEAP, I am talking bout you all. haha

from my side, i think my family would be utterly shocked if i were to mention the word marriage. to them, that vocabulary should not exist in my dictionary since i am ONLY 21! it somehow still sounds too early to be pronounced. From his side meanwhile, well, his eldest brother is 30 and he is still NOT married. so, you can see how NOT ready both of us are when it comes to this matter.

well, who i am to talk about this thing. things and decisions can change greatly with environment. who knows, i might even get married before the end of the 5 year medical course.that would be in 2 years time!! *gasp* well if God has planned it that way, then i definitely have no right to go against it rite?

whatever it is, the ultimate goal is definitely to be married for only ONCE and hoping for it to last till eternity. come on, based on the current trend of divorce rates, i surely do not want to fall into the madness. furthermore, marriage needs a tremendous amount of commitments. and hence with that, you should be expecting of having more responsibilities. i need to make sure that i am all buckled up and ready to sail through it before finally saying......

I DO... <3