happy 52nd year of freedom malaysia.

yeap yeap. today you are a year older dearest Malaysia. So far, you have aged gracefully amidst of the economic crisis experienced globally. Though at times, you might experience hardship especially those concerning of politics but then, you seem to be able to handle it well.

As one of your populations, I am proud on how u have turned out to be. You managed to put yourself in line with other countries in our region. At least, people can now imagine geographically where we are located and the images of Twin Towers and F1 Sepang Circuit will also pop in their heads when mentioning of u. There are also tonnes of places of interests available in just one piece of land and thus, you do not really bore the visitors out.

Despite that, i am a bit embarrassed with the political issues going around in your land. In general, the word "politics" itself is already dirty and sneaky . Sometimes, weird and unlogical duels will break in and i wonder what would your neighbouring countries feel about the matter. Come to think of it, you are 52 now. Don't you feel tired of living the life that way?

In addition to that, whatever has happened to our sports performance? You used to be one of the favourites for certain games but this is no longer the case now. I thought we are living in a hi-tech country and hence, dont you think that the athletes' performance need to be as that as well? Come on, bring back the glory!

Nevertheless, there are still tonnes of things that are still needed to be accomplished. I hope you will never stop being productive since you need to support millions on your land. You know we, the millions inhabitants, are really expecting on an endless of prosperity and wellness. So, try harder Malaysia.

oh, happy 52nd birthday Malaysia!

can you handle the truth?

relationship really needs trust and honesty to make it work. it is very normal for us gals to be insecured and hence, they tend to accuse their partners of things that they do not commit. i am sure you have heard of a gal sulking towards the guy on cheating issues even though the guy is innocent. sometimes, they might even ask stupid and annoying questions. but why do us girls do this when they infact already know the answer to them all?

i believe that all we want is security. it does feel good when ur partner tries so hard to prove that he is loyal and true to one. we like it when they say that we are the only ones in their whole mind and soul. it is not that we do not have the trust. we do but it can fluctuate and hence, the partner has to bring up the trust level back to its optimum level.

other than asking your partners repeatitively with such great annoyment, should we become their stalkers? checking out his emails / facebooks and what would be even worse is to check things out on his laptop! what are we trying to look for anyway? if we unexpectedly found something that might disappoint us, issit worth doing so in the first place?

they said truth hurts and i cannot disagree on the matter further. but issit worthy to go thru the pain and anxiety? will things still remain the same or will you greatly be affected by it?

maybe we should upgrade our trust towards our partners. be a risk taker and do not simply driven by emotions.

please stay strong!

one thing that bugs me everyday is hair fall. ever since im entering the medical school, i notice that my hair fall is worsening with days. to start off, my hair is originally thin and smooth. (i prefer to call it as baby's hair though). so, in addition of this crisis, im scared that i might be bald by the time i end the 5 year course.

i started to experience this during my A level years. my mom would blame it on the fact that im tudungless. Truth be told, even before this hair fall problem, i have been suffering from other thing as well: dandruffs which i got it ever since i was a young kid, the time when i still had my tudung on.

on the other side, my dad's hair is also as similar to that of mine. smooth and thin. genetically linked u may ask? well, i hope it is but then i can't simply just be satisfied with that. i don't want to end up having bald patches in the near future due to this.

i have tried several different brands of shampoo but none are working so far. should i combat the dandruff problems first? what are the good brands out there that i should give a try to?

honestly,my mother is not the best person for this matter cause she is extremely a simple person. try to ask her about beauty care and her advice would be not to waste money and time on those items. she also mentions that those who use make-ups are those who are insecured about themselves. she kinda has a good point there but living in this world, i can't look easy on this. come on, i wanna look good too! i know, i know, inner beauty is the most important things of all, but hey, how many of us DO look in the INNER BEAUTY?

so far, my face seems to get better. i no longer face those acne eruptions on this face. i have started on Eucerin products and so far, they suit my skin! I am now on facial cleansing as well as toner. At least once a week, i would put on Garnier mask. Sometimes, it feels good to pamper yourself with these products. hehe anyway, i am planning to start on Eucerin moisturiser soon. i think i should complete the 3 basic products for skin care.

Anyhow, my 1st priority for now will be that concerning to my hair. It gets pretty annoying but worrying to see those scanty hair strands on the floor. i am sick of having to gather them and throw them away daily.

Help me! I don't wanna graduate as a granny!!!

listen up!

im bored.

im thirsty.

im hungry.

im sleepy.

i just need an accompany.

i need to stop sulking and whining over the past.

i have to wake up and face the day.

that bad habit!

lately, i have been missing a lot of things which are costly. i don't know what has been going on with me but it is really frustrating whenever i lose things. perhaps, clumsiness is very strong in my gene and i think i might have inherited it from my dad. at some other time, it might be due to PMS. it is mentioned that during this period, one will experience forgetfulness and clumsiness. Well, i'm kinda glad to hear upon it. At least i have some facts to put the blame on.

What frustrates me the most is the fact that i tend to lose expensive things. This year for instance it started off with camera and then the parking bay access card. There are more to mention for instance mobile phones but i could not recall much. *it's 3am now. mind block!* so, what would be next then? i hope i do not lose my own partner. *TOUCH WOOD*

i hope i do not carry this habit in my career. Come on! Im dealing with human lives and i cannot afford to make a lot of mistakes! In a way, i think it would have been a better choice if i were to do engineering instead. At least i will not risk myself jeopardising human's life.

Based on Islam teachings, there are ways to improve your memory. This involves limiting the entertainment and eating well. Try to minimise sour and junk food and increase your raisins intake coz they kinda have the memory-boosting ability.

In a way, i think i should try to calm myself down as much as possible and try to put in 100% focus on things that i do. Maybe i should do less thinkings but to concentrate more on work. *sigh*

can i just replace my mind RAM?

1 month foodless

It's 22nd August 2009 and it is also the 1st of Ramadhan. Fortunately, both Brunei and Malaysia are starting the fasting month today. So, how did i spend the day so far? Well, let's see. After waking up bout 10+, i went to PJ to pick up my sis in UIA then off back to Cyber. I was sure that she did not mind that since our house is finally internet equipped. However, i received a surprise phone call from Hanadi. He is currently in Cyber, checking out the area before moving in here in Sept for Lim Kok Wing. (issit a one word?) By dawn, we just went to Mak Teh's restaurant to buy some food for sungkai. There werent much there but at least we managed to grab murtabak and some Malay kuehs. Surprisingly, we spent a total of RM15 for two! So much for trying to save in during this holy month.

Other than that, I am starting to follow this another series : 10 Things I hate About You by ABC family. Remember back then when we used to go GaGa over (Late) Heath Ledger in the movie? Truthfully, that was when i started to like him. Well, not to worry. At least this new series can entertain me while waiting for Gossip Girl next month. The story line is a bit different in compared to the movie but i still enjoy watching it. Oh, there is this one kinda Hot guy, Ethan Peck which could replace Chuck Bass soon. But i just dont fancy one thing about him. Hello!! do something with those curly hair! So currently, they are in episode 7. Go ahead and you-tube it! At least there is something to fulfill your time while waiting for the sungkai!

im on MTV!

as usual, radly and I will try to participate as many international concerts as possible. This year alone, we have been to the sunburst music festival in which i won a meet-and-greet pass with my long time crush, PHARRELL WILLIAMS *screams!!!!* I can't wait for the next year!

Last Saturday, we got the chance to be in Sunway Lagoon to watch MTV WORLD STAGE! this is the 1st ever MTV World Stage in ASIA. The lineups were amazing : Raygun, Estranged, All American Rejects, Boys Like Girls, Pixie Lott and Kasabian. They were f*cking amazing but i have to say the best amongst them all had to be All American Rejects. They knew very well on how to entertain the audience.

On the other side, the audiences kinda spoilt the event. Some of them were Mat Rempits. i do not mean to have that streotyping perception but most of the time, they seem to create a lot of troubles around.

anyway, the concert was enjoyable. at least i am glad to have witnessed those international bands. Hopefully there will be more to come in.

i want to upload the pictures but they are currently in radly's camera. will try to post them here whenever they are ready!

an unfortunate

im currently doing elective in HKL on infectious disease. My partner and I are more interested in studying infectious disease especially on those of airway diseases. So we were assigned by our external supervisor to be in the Male Medical Ward 26. Yesterday there was an event that made me to witness the damaging effect of drug abusing.

There happened to be a young Malay man, aged 18 from Kelantan who was admitted due to shortness of breath. He is an active IVDU with positive Hepatitis C and syphillis. Upon further questioning, he is currently staying in Chow Kit area. In Malaysia, this is a well-known black area for immoral activities such as prostitutions and drug addicts. So, just based on this history alone, you can have a rough idea on what his prognosis would be like.

Differential diagnosis for this young man is TB. On general inspection, he appeared to be cachexic and weak. He was on nasal mask and was in respiratory distress (dyspneic, tachypneic). I did not do any physical examination on him since, yea, i gotta admit, i was a bit scared to attend to this patient. Perhaps the negative perception still persists in me. However, i should do something about this cause as a physician, you cannot be selective on the patients. Honestly, this was my first encounter with such case.

Moving on, this patient could not feed himself or tolerate orally. Hence, the physicians planned for cvp line insertion in order to feed and rehydrate patient. Since he was an active drug addict, most of his veins were already collapsed. Next, the physicians tried to access for his femoral veins but failed. Finally, they decided to go through his subclavian despite the fact that the procedure has higher risks and complications. In this case for instance, the patient was too thin and hence, increasing the risk for lung puncture during the procedure. Since there were no other options for the patient, they had to proceed.

In less than 5 minutes after the poke, the patient was gasping for air. The physicians were already anticipating this and told the emergency team that the lung had collapsed. They tried to revive him but in the end, he lost the battle.

Truth be told, i was a bit affected by the event. It was such a tragic event for such a very young man. I could not understand why the drug addicts could hurt themselves in the first place. Don't they wish for a brighter future and a happy life?

Hence to my all dear friends, please, make your life as beautiful and colourful as it is. i described my life simply just like an empty book that needs a touch of creativity to make it as interesting as possible. do not simply let it to end like that and please, remind your young ones as well. We live for only once and it is our responsibility to make it was worthy as possible.

every shalalalala~!~!~

i currently have more than 3000 of mp3s in this laptop of mine. this is as a result of 10 years countless effort and time spent to download them. at times, i also steal some songs from my peers. this rarely happens since i am usually known to have good taste in music *cough* :p

my taste in music changes randomly with the environment and my moodswings. i have been digging in RnB during my adolescent years and ventured into punk/rock genre during my break up moments. as i begin to know my current partner, i tend to go for easy-listening. it's a transition in every phase of my life.

nevertheless, i also loveeee listening to the evergreens. somehow, their melodies and lyrics are more meaningful and soothing to hear. you dont have to worry about it being overplayed since you know you current radio stations won't play much of them anyway. furthermore, it's EVERGREEN! would you ever get tired of them?

my fav all time singers can include the beatles (thanks to the movie : accross the universe!) , frank sinatra, marvin gaye, the carpenters, the temptations, bee gees, michael jackson (who doesnt!), tom jones, ABBA, UB40 and george michael. i still have some others but the list can be endless!

i cant wait to include list such as n.e.r.d, pharrell williams in this list of mine in 30 years time. (God's willing) i wonder how music will be like in the next 50 years. electrico ? techno? or are we going back to the era of mozart and beethoven? it will be graceful dont u think?