runaway

few days before i leave to KL i would usually have the uneasy feelings. it's not that i do not enjoy KL life. instead it's all the hassle that i have to go through in order to live the day. as everyone knows, i have a boyfriend. just like any other ordinary youngsters or human beings, we cant escape from one. eventually, your turn will flies in. and hence, ur love life starts.

of course, once you are in a relationship, you wanna colour it with as many interesting events as possible. once you have good or interesting news, it's a human nature tthat you wanna share with the people nearby.

unfortunately, i am in a surrounding which cannot accept some ways of doing things. and hence, i cant. thus, i am living a refugee life. running away, afraid of being spotted. sometimes, u have to come out with lies intelligently. i guess the safest way for me is not to be close to any human beings around me. i do not want people to backstab or perhaps to abuse my "trust" on them.

you are scared with what would they perceive you as. you are scared that this perception can affect your marks, academically as well as your dignity. i dont know how long i can handle this. i just cant wait for it to be over.

it's true. i like to reminisce about the past. i cant seem to let go of the past. whenever i think of it, it makes me to smile and at least, ease the conflicts inside me.

young and free. those 3 words seem to be obsolete in my dictionary.

it's time to rot.

everyday is a different day

week 1 has passed. im still out of net. damn TM. i loathe its service. how irony, a network provider cannot even carry out its task properly. wat a shameful.

so, im a bit busy for this week, juggling both between studies and family. somehow, people cannot understand the fact that you are doing MEDICINE. people cannot accept that we do not have the time like any other students. they expect us to be like any other students, having weekdays freely.

at the moment, im tired. im exhausted. everything does not seem to work. things are tumbling up and down. have you ever experienced the moment when you tend to blame yourself for all the mishaps? have u ever blamed yourself for being a troublemaker? have u ever felt that you can do no right?

crap. im totally feeling crap now. there is noone that i can talk to. not even to my family. not even to my partner. not even to any friends of mine. wait a minute, do i even have a friend? well, maybe i do. but do i even have someone who i can rely to cry my shoulders on?

in the end, thanks bloggie for being there. i know i can rely on you. i know i can talk to u.

out in the space

here I am, sitting in the auditorium of CUCMS Street Mall campus, blogging, facebooking,twittering and surfing. well, it isn't that im not serious with my studies. as a matter of fact, it is only Research and EBM Course. This course isn't much of clinical contents SO FAR and hence,I can use this opportunity to play around.

in addition I still do not have streamyx in my place. I hope it doesn't take that long.to get it installed. I am severely traumatised with the experienced of doing so. I can say that I am utterly disappointed with the service provided by telekom malaysia berhad. somehow,they are slow and not efficient. once it took me more than a month just to get the line. so,im expecting a better treatment this time.

so, with internetless, im lost with the world. surprisingly,I do not seem to have the addiction issues especially with FB. but still yea, I miss wasting my time with the net. hehe

okay, lecture is starting soon. at the same time,I need to save my HTc TyTN battery power. as I have always mentioned, technology is such a blessing in this life.

till then, THINK OUT OF THE BOX

apa passwordnya ?

it's a common sight to see restaurants or cafes in Brunei to be wifi provided. clever enough, most of them are security-enabled. so, each time u wanna log in, u have to ask the waiter/waitress for its password. i kinda wonder how often do they do this in a day. aren't they tired of doing so? i think they do since they prefer to jot the password down rather than blurting it out. perhaps this is also to prevent miscommunication which im sure always happens back then. well, when you think of it, most of the workers are either Filipinos or Indonesians. Indonesians usually pronounce the letter "C" as "Ceh". so, perhaps, they have came out with a good prevention measures. tau2 saja tah. some of the customers ani suka mengucap2 bisdorang. kesian plg tu.

so, while i was having my bath (i know, this is usually the time when i think a lot or maybe to even come out with answers for my problems!) , i suddenly thought of creating a blogsite, listing down all the passwords for the Wifi-provided cafes/restaurants in Brunei. noone has done it before and im sure, it'll help a lot of us who might be shy to ask for the question.

nevertheless, if i were to do so, i need to make sure, i don't upload any of my self-potrait on the blogsite. i don't want my face to be blacklisted or banned from entering such places. furthermore, i don't think i have much time to explore that many place here in brunei. perhaps someone should come out with this.

however, what i like about restaurants/cafes is that they provide with many extra power points for the laptop users. in a way, it is b MAZNI ROCKS!!!!!!!!!


MAZNI IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-.-;;;

Excuse me for that. i cannot even leave this laptop alone even for few minutes. talking about Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder

so, yea, at least, i don't have to be like vultures, hunting for powersockets and hence, staring at the users as if that can make them to leave the place for me to use. at times, i might end up cursing the users for being slow and selfish. come on, some of them just spend the net to Facebooking or Myspacing (in Malaysia) instead of doing real work. -.-;;

In Cyberjaya, most of the population is made up of students. so of course, Internet is the only thing that makes them to work. they rely on it 100%. without it, you cannot even think straight as well as finishing your task. wat happen to the time when books are the only source of knowledge? come to think of it, look at how the senior generation ends up now even without having computer in the 1st place. my, my.. we are becoming a lazy bunch of grown ups.

furthermore, Internet can also be a nuisance. it's common to hear facebook or twitter as the strongest distraction during revision. evidently, it is getting more difficult to live in this modern life.

public announcement

lately, ive decided to make this bloggie of mine to be free out of its shell. i know, you've been waiting for this moment, but i wasnt ready back then.

so, for those who have been missing my act, u can update it here. i usually have more time to post in entries during the holiday.

other than that, i might only write in, in case of frustrations or conflicts. besides that, other possibility include to commemorate something precious that is worth to be published.

oh, im pretty new to this linkage thing. i feel like to tag in some of those bloggers that i wanna update myself to. do i need permission from u guys to do so? well, pardon me, cause i don't. so, if u request for it to be put down, inform me yea? hehe *aww...im such a nice person!

till then, keep the post coming in guys. it'll make my day somehow.

do you want to know the truth?

sometimes, i hate the fact that i am a girl.

we are always emotionally bounded. simple things can right away shift our mood. one moment ur euphoric, the next thing u know, you are depressed cause u feel like you've jumped into that deep shithole of yours.

as a woman *cough* im glad we can easily blame it on PMS (*on certain occasions!!). it's unexplainable and we can't run away from it cause it's a part of the cycle! so ladies, u dont have to feel that bad about yourself. but then, too bad for the testosterone-driven creatures, you are the ones who have to face the consequences. *evil laugh*

well, i kinda have this attitude that i tend to ask questions. im not sure why i do this. do i really wanna know the answers ? or do i simply enjoy the adrenaline and other stress hormones circulating around my bloodstream?

truth CAN hurt but at the same time, it helps to work things out. so, is it worth to experience both ? or perhaps the other best way it to just be in denial and simply throw them doubts away out of your ever-working brains ? in other words, run away from the unsolved mysteries of yours. but can we simply forget them and act as if nothing had happened?

curious lil mind. im always curious on the way you work.