still aint getting it

sometimes, all i ever asked for is

HONESTY

tell me things that you know,

ENLIGHTEN ME

i know what u did last Xmas.

this is how i spent my last Xmas.

end product (RICE + CHICKEN CURRY + FRIED VEGE)

as a result...

NANI WAS FULL AND HAPPY!

Psychiatry Academic Supervisor Assessment session

Dr R : So far so good. You're okay. But you seem to be more mature than the rest. Are you the oldest in the group?

Me : *stunned* erm.... no...

in fact, im the youngest.

Dr R : Oh, really. Well, you are more matured than some of the rest. That's good.

Me : *grinned*

After 4 weeks in the posting, we were assigned to meet up with our respective Academic Supervisor to get feedback on our performance.

I like it whenever they commented me like that. Currently, i am the youngest and hence, the baby of the group. Some of the members are even 4 years older than me but yet, i can in a way, have some kind of control over them. i think im born to be a Director General of Ministry of Health. I like to be in charged! haha

Even said that, i was once told that i was too young to be a medical student. it was during my 3rd year when i was only about 20 years old. At that moment, i had a feeling that he was probably jealous of me.

Oh well, i admit im quite a lucky girl!

I'm No Superman

I have about 3 weeks left for my end of Posting exams and it seems like i have endless list of things to do.

Im having my Community Health Project next week in Terendak and we were quite behind the schedule.

i used to be the kind of person who would start revising as early as possible for the exams. However, this is not the case anymore.

Medicine requires constant perseverance and motivation to drive you off the wall everyday. The syllabus of my course is a bit different in compared to any other medical institution *as far as i believe.

Medical course itself is already challenging and tough. I wish i do not face other obstacles that make it more difficult for me.

People, it's time to grow up and be responsible. Please spend less time eyeing on other people's life and instead, focus your attention to our priority.

real-life movie

Psychiatry posting really helps me to understand about the real world.

It snaps me out of the fantasy and shows me what kind of life that we are actually living in.

The truth is, the world is actually not a safe place to live in. It is not a place where everything is only of rainbows and butterflies. It is surrounded with many dark colours that can jeopardize the whole meaning of safety, love, trust and happiness.

After listening to all the past events that had occured to my psychiatric patients, i couldnt help but to feel worried and scared. Distrust, abuse, violence, humiliation, lust, anger, disputes are the common powerful stressors that eventually develop the psychotic features.

The sad part is, noone knows how they feel of the pain that they have been carrying on their shoulders. Noone understands how it feels like to hear voices instructing them to do absurd things or even see horrifying images in their eyes. Can u live happily when u know that there are people watching over your every move?

Sometimes, they can utter the most funniest and the most absurd things that u have ever heard.

But honestly, i am truly amused of their creative imaginations. What would u feel if u have the imagination of Meeting JK Rowling in person and having 2 guardian angels to look after you? It's a bit weird but at the same time, it's nice to be able to have things that the rest couldnt experience.

Crazy might be the word to describe them. But i think, their patience is way better off than that of ours. They have suffered for a long time from their illness and let alone dealing with people's stigma towards them. They might be useless to the society but to me, they are heroes.

tomorrow

I don't know how I'll feel, tomorrow, tomorrow, I don't know what to say, tomorrow, tomorrow Is a different day

who's bad?

How do you define whether the person is good?

Do you rate the person based on the spirituality, personality or level of education?

Would you consider a person who has a very good work ethic but with poor spiritual side and education level as a good person?

Or do you think that a person who reads the Holy Quran and pray daily but likes to irritate and humiliate other people as a good person?

Should we regard the drug addicts as useless and hopeless?

Are we "good" enough?

why don't we go and take 5

i miss the wind blows
the smell of the sea
the sight of the sunset
the warmth of the sand
the lines of the horizon

no pain, no gain

I went thru my 1st facial yesterday.

First time of such experience and Of course, i was quite nervous about it. I did not do extra reading prior to the session and hence, making me looking like a total noob being there. What was even better was that i had a HUGE zit on my face. i don't have to tell you where it was coz im sure u could even identify it standing 2 metres away. yea, it was THAT obvious.

So, it was a 75minute session. starting off with a cleanser and next to the scrubing and masking. Then the lady put another layer masking cream and while waiting for it to dry, i had an upper body massage. at that point, i thought life was wonderful.

Then next came the unexpecting moment. The EXTRACTION process. I noe i had fear of dental extraction but this one was something that i wish to be nothing but another pampering. But i was dead wrong. she removed almost every single blackheads and whiteheads available and i was shrieking in pain while she did it. it felt like i had ant bites everywhere!

then she applied some solution onto my whole face and i felt like the whole skin was burning. i felt like screaming but in the end i hushed it down and just blamed it all on the blackheads.

the lady informed me that i need to at least to attend a facial session once a month. Upon hearing that, the first thing that popped in my head was $$$. haish... there goes my spending list again.

then, the next question is, where shall i do that? and oh, surely, u dont have to remind me about the pain!

seems like it is not easy to be an XX. Sometimes i think my dad is lucky to have my mom. she's not that kind to spend money to beautify her every inch of skin. Perhaps, she has a beautiful soul; that is something to my dad's eyes.

nevertheless, i have to admit, i enjoy the pamperings. Once i get my own earnings, i do not think i mind spending a couple of bucks as a reward to a chaotic career every month. afterall, im just a woman who wants to be as beautiful as everybody else.

PS : My thanks to my other half's mother for kindly giving me such opportunity =)

another anticipation

Im starting to get the feverrrr!

Psychiatry Posting : Chapter 2

Week 2 was challenging but im glad that i am now quite comfortable being around the patients. So far, i only practiced clerking on the FEMALE patients and havent really encountered any unpleasant incidents. One of my friends meanwhile almost got herself strangled by her patient. We did not know why the patient did that and the same went to the patient. this should be expected in this posting since patients are mentally ill and not functioning.

So far, im still not sure whether im ready to embark into the MALE ward. I know it is not a safe place for a female to be in that zone but regardless of the situation, a good doctor should not be judgmental towards the patients. One of my friends is already traumatised after being sexually "harassed" by a bipolar patient. i myself am not sure how to react if i were in her shoes that day. Nevertheless, i still need to go for this since there is a possibility of us to be getting male patients during the exam soon. Hence, i need to familiarise myself with this situation.

Other than that, i was appointed to be the PROGRAM COORDINATOR for our Mental Health Programme in 4 weeks' time. Heard that this is quite a heavy task. We'll see how i sail thru this task. To date, I am facing with a problem due to being posted to HKL. There seems to be no appropriate restaurants around our satellite campus and hence, i usually suffer during lunch time. Well, I am not being arrogant but simply because i was not trained to enjoy those food sold by the stalls. This is more like, erm, a hygienic issue.

Oh well, maybe this is a perfect opportunity for me to lose weight.

One of the days where time is best utilised with sleeping.